Ramblings of an artist

I started painting again after a year's break following Starry Night. I fell back into it as if I had never stopped painting at all. I was so glad as sometimes I think that I will forget how to do something and then I think that that is just being "me". It is funny some of the thoughts that go through one's head as if driven by some unknown force that is unleashed and able to create either havoc or peace. These thoughts are known to drive sane men crazy and turn women into saints.

Studying the behaviour of people has not only been interesting but it has lead to my own soul searching experience making me more aware of how my own behaviour affects me and impacts on others. Suffering from depression and anxiety for most of my life became evident after having a breakdown four years ago and being diagnosed with major depression and chronic anxiety. The events over a three year period added up and finally broke me which is something that I am not proud of but I am human after all. I believe that a majority of human beings don't really want to own up to the fact that they can snap and break, even the strongest tree can break in the wildest storm.

Unfortunately, mental illness is still seen today as something to be ashamed of and something to hide from. I wish I could say that a lot has changed since the days of the "Bedlam" asylum but people who suffer from a mental illness are still judged as being unstable, unworthy and crazy. Our prison's and streets are becoming the new asylums of the 21st century where it is easier to lock "crazy" people away or make them homeless instead of giving them the help that they need. I don't mean to rant and rave and open myself up to criticism, so please forgive these ramblings, but unless we get rid of the stigma attached to mental illness and start helping people, what will become of our society?

Starry Night by Van Gogh

I did this painting for my daughter for Christmas last year, it didn't take too long and I enjoyed the freedom of painting it in a loose style, similar to Van Gogh.

A3 (594 x 420mm) Acrylic on Canvas

Sadness

One of the few artworks completed while studying

A4 Pencil on Sketch Paper

Bachelor of Social Science (Behavioural Science Major)

I haven't been here for quite some time, or so it seems. Time has moved quickly over the past three and a half years and studying externally through the University of Southern Queensland with my head constantly in a textbook has made it move even quicker. I have returned here to blog about my journey through University and beyond reflecting on how a middle aged woman managed to succeed in gaining a Bachelor's Degree where under normal circumstances would have quit and failed.

Yes, I have finally completed a Bachelor of Social Science majoring in Behavioural Science and minoring in Psychology. I would like to say that I enjoyed every minute of studying but that would be an exaggeration, even for me. The exam's were hard and stressful and, since I suffer from an exam phobia, I managed to pretty much stuff up every exam I ever attempted. Luckily I did well on the assignments and did not have to rely quite so much on passing exams to pass the course, otherwise I might still be studying for another 20 years. The courses were manageable in the beginning but gained confusing momentum as the years went by. I did enjoy the psychology units and also the two master units that I did on 'Child Abuse and Neglect' and 'Emotional and Behavioural Problems of Children and Adolescents' (which I passed with High Distinctions), but some of the courses were quite hard.

I sit here now quite pleased with myself that I actually managed to stick to something, and not quit like I normally do, after committing myself to something that turns out to be a lot harder than first thought. I will, of course, be looking for employment but until I do I will be working on drawing and painting for my own enjoyment and well earned therapy. I will also try to stick to this blog, similar to a journal of my journey through the rest of the challenges that I might encounter. 

Isn't it strange how there is so many people on the internet blogging. Why do they do it? I was wondering about it the other day, thinking about my own blog and wondering where it will end up.

I watched Julie and Julia last night. What a wonderful film, made me hungry and made me want to update my blog, how silly. I agree with Julie, does anybody read these blogs? There must be thousands and thousands of them now on the net, probably hundreds of thousands or even millions?

I am still waiting to start my degree, I didn't realise how boring my life really was until I thought about and how much I wanted to study, how strange!

I suppose I could blog more often, maybe just voice my opinions, but do you really want to air your laundry or opinions on the net where anybody could read them? I will ponder this in more depth when I am not so bored.

TIME FLIES WHEN YOUR HAVING FUN

I just had to draw this

I can't believe that it is already 2010. So much has been happening that I have not even had time to update my poor hardly used blog.


I completed my Tertiary Preparation Program at the University of Southern Queensland with a High Distinction. I could not believe that I did as well as I did considering that I hated maths at school. Now I am waiting to start my Bachelor of Social Science, majoring in Behavioural Science and minoring in Psychology, I can't wait to start, but I have to wait until 1st of March.

I have been drawing more than I have been painting. I would love to say that I miss it but funny enough I don't miss it that much, drawing has been my addiction lately. I will keep this blog as a crazy person's ramblings just to vent my frustration with my world.

I hope that I am able to be on here more often if only to update my studies at University and occassionally add on extra drawing or whatever I may have completed while studying.

All Work and No Paint

What a hectic time I'm having at the moment, haven't been here for so long almost forgot I had a blog to update. I have put my painting/drawing on hold for a while so I may be able to study at University. I don't know how much I will be able to put on hold, I will try to do some painting, maybe once a week.

Yes, I know, I'm crazy, but I have a plan. A long time ago in a land far far away, a little girl (we will call her Diana) decided she wanted to help people (why, we will never know). When she finished school and started working she decided to study Psychology by external studies. Of course, one thing led to another and she eventually settled down, got married and had children (so much for the studies or anything else after kids).

Like so many other plans that were made, started and never completed, this plan went along the wayside with the others.

Now that I have extra time on my hands (certainly not by choice), and the kids are able to function without me around 24/7, and because I am not feeling very motivated as I used to be with my painting and drawing, I have decided to go back and finish my studies. It's only been 20 something years, anyway, it's never too late to start something new and different in you life.

Here is the thing, because I am not as young as I used to be and because I haven't studied in many many years, I have to do a Tertiary Preparation Program so I can get good grades (like in school) before I can start studying a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) or Bachelor of Behavioural Science (Psychology) either one will do and I will be able to go on to do what it is I have always wanted to do, yes, I want to become an Art Therapist (big in the US not so big in Aus but hoping it will be).

Anyway, this is more typing I have done on here other than my assignments so I'm off. I will, of course, keep you updated with my busy little life (a lot busier than has been), and will keep this as a kind of journal for myself or anybody that can be bothered reading it.